it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
