just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
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What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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