FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
