They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
