Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
