Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
