U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
