I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
