Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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