Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
