i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
