I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize