Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
