I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
