Acid is not a monday night drug
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
