good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
