Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize