Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.

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  (815): Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single. http://tfl.nu/sipf
  Replies (46) Good night (675) Bad night (3974) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.

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  (817): I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that. http://tfl.nu/nbo5
  Replies (27) Good night (749) Bad night (5465) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life

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  (774): So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life http://tfl.nu/2cua
  Replies (27) Good night (6518) Bad night (1076)
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  (818): View more from California

  Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.

  (818): View more from California

  And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.

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  (818): Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas. (818): And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you. http://tfl.nu/hyux
  Replies (14) Good night (5338) Bad night (1057)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.

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  (517): found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping. http://tfl.nu/l6f0
  Replies (7) Good night (4479) Bad night (1454) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him

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  (305): and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him http://tfl.nu/st8n
  Replies (10) Good night (2865) Bad night (1688) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.

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  (917): The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof. http://tfl.nu/wunk
  Replies (3) Good night (2799) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety

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  (715): He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety http://tfl.nu/vghu
  Replies (4) Good night (1987) Bad night (919) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night

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  (937): They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night http://tfl.nu/quiu
  Replies (6) Good night (1823) Bad night (337) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!

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  (910): It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed! http://tfl.nu/bbxy
  Replies (10) Good night (1804) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
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  (323): View more from California

  There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream

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  (323): There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream http://tfl.nu/r44r
  Replies (9) Good night (416) Bad night (1073) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.

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  (816): Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines. http://tfl.nu/u22h
  Replies (1) Good night (1234) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.

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  (210): It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs. http://tfl.nu/dihg
  Replies (2) Good night (690) Bad night (274) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur

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  (831): Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur http://tfl.nu/smm5
  Replies (2) Good night (809) Bad night (448) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.

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  (937): Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life. http://tfl.nu/0u64
  Replies (9) Good night (673) Bad night (243)

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