So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.