# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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