no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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