My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize