Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
