3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
