shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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