I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize