do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
