So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
