You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
