I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
