Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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