Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
