I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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