If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
