Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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