she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
