So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
