on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
