he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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