Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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