At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
