A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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