i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
