I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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