Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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