I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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