I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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