I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
