I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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