At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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