Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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