i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Vodka?
Forever.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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