I am puke
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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