We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
