So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
