I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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