Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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