i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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