I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
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Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
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I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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