Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
