how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
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Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
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Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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