my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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